Apparently, I'm Not a Real Person

Everyone has their morning routines.  I make my bed, feed my animals and then sit down at my computer for a while with a cup of coffee.  There are some online comic strips that I read.  I like to start each day with a smile if possible.  Makes for a happy state of mind.  I check a couple of news websites to keep up with what is going on in the world.  I check my email.  Then I look at Facebook to see what my kids and grandkids are doing that day.

When I went to log onto Facebook this morning, a message came up that my account had been disabled.  So, like everybody else who runs into a computer glitch, I tried logging in a couple more times.  You know, the theory that if you repeat an action often enough, eventually it will work!  Nope.  No such luck.

So I clicked on their help button to see why I no longer had an account.  Facebook, in their infinite wisdom, has decided that I am not real.

They say that I must provide my real first name and last name.  Last time I checked, Vicki Matheny Miller was my name.  Has been for 22 years.  The Vicki and Matheny parts have been mine for 64 years.  Nothing wrong there.

Then they say that I am prohibited from impersonating anyone or anything.  I am perfectly happy with who and what I am.  I have no desire to be anyone or anything else.  So that's not a problem.

Facebook then tells me that I am prohibited from having more than one account.  I have only one account.  Now, I do have multiple blogs.  Blogger doesn't seem to mind.  But I can think of no good reason to have more than one Facebook account.  No, that's not the problem.

Then I learn that it is "strictly prohibited" to have a profile representing celebrities, pets, ideas or inanimate objects.  Maybe that's it.  Do you suppose that while I was sleeping, Noodle or Jessie or Lily opened an account in my name?  I mean, Jessie and Lily do like to hang out with me when I am on my computer.  And goodness knows, Noodle can be a bit sneaky at times, and he does like to watch what I do from the back of my computer chair.  But no, I don't think that's it.

Facebook's last reason for getting rid of me concerns spamming and harassing.  I, to the best of my recollection, have never sent spam.  I receive a lot of it.  On any given day offers arrive in my email for all sorts of things that I couldn't possibly live without.  This morning alone, I can get my very own credit cards, learn to be an ultrasound technician, sign up for tanning sessions, charter a boat, and make my skin clear and clean.  I can also meet sexy seniors, cast a personal love spell and check the 68 messages now waiting for me on a singles dating website.  I'm thinking that none of these things are going to happen.  My children and their siblings harass each other on Facebook more than I ever thought about doing.  I really don't think that I have harassed anyone lately, with the possible exception of my mailman who has lately given my mail to other residents of my building.  Perhaps I was a bit premature on that.  After all, Facebook says that I am not me, so how can my mailman know.

So.....if any of you know just who I am, please let me know.  I would be interested to find out.  Because, after all, Facebook says that I do not exist.  And if you see it on Facebook, it must be true.

Vicki Matheny Miller (or whoever)