Sunday, September 30, 2018

Why I Don't Believe Her

There was once a 9 year old girl who escaped being molested by her 21 year old cousin.  Some 60 years later she remembers every detail.

She remembers her cousin asking her to go for a ride at night to 'shine the deer.'
She remembers the pickup truck was red and white with rusty spots on it.
She remembers the seat cover was red plaid with some spots worn through.
She remembers the smell of stale cigarette butts in the ashtray.
She remembers when they stopped at the edge of a field and he plugged the spotlight into the cigarette lighter.
She remembers seeing three deer in the light from the spotlight.
She remembers how dark it was when he turned off the light.
She remembers feeling sick to her stomach when he started kissing on her.
She remembers crying and him stopping and telling her she better not tell.
She remembers spending the remainder of the evening at her aunt and uncle's house, drawing cartoon characters over and over again with a pencil on notebook paper.  Goofy and Pluto and Mickey Mouse, mostly.
She remembers pretending to be asleep in the back seat of the car on the ride home, listening to her parents talk.
She remembers her mother saying something was wrong and she thought the cousin had done something bad.
She remembers her father saying he didn't think the cousin would ever hurt his daughter.

She never told.  Her mother had often told her that she was a bad girl, for she was headstrong and tended to get into mischief.  Children often believe when something bad happens, it is their fault, so she remained silent.  When the girl was a grown woman with a family of her own and when she knew none of it had been her fault, it made no sense to hurt family by dredging up the past.  It did not take years of therapy to come to that conclusion.  It just took believing that forgiving is the right thing to do.

You just can not convince me that a 15 year old girl now a grown woman has so few memories of an attack except for the name of a man who is up for Supreme Court Justice.  A man who has never had even a whisper of scandal associated with his name.    It may be what the Dems want to hear as truth.  It may be what her lawyers have told her is truth.  But you just can not ever convince me that her testimony is the real truth.

20 comments:

  1. Sounds kind of personal, and your decision is understandable.

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  2. Gorges...Nothing could change history. But family would have been hurt and possibly divided. Sometimes it is best to just move on.

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  3. This guilt is what keeps women silent and men perpetuating their preying on little girls or grown women. Your story is not her story. I believe her.

    I never told my mother about the preacher's attempt because he was powerful, and I was a little girl. I cannot tell you the exact year, time, day, season, or exact location. So, does that mean I am lying? According to your estimation, I would be labeled a liar.

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    1. Linda...We all have our own opinions. Never in the world would I label you a liar because your memories don't line up with mine. There are other aspects of her story that cause me to seriously doubt it.

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    2. I'm a night owl. I sleep when I get tired, which usually isn't until 5 or 6 in the morning. Might have something to do with those afternoon naps. :)

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  4. Something happened to her... someone assaulted her before this incident and probably other times after the incident she described... but I can't say definitely it was the judge. She appears to be an emotionally damaged woman...some women never recover...others, and I put myself in that category, do move on... I have vivid memories ...my age, who he was (a cousin), what he said, what he did, where it happened (back porch of my grandma's house), what the air smelled like... but all my memories and allegations would still be a she said - he said. I believe the entire circus was a political trick as this could have been investigated privately (as she said she wanted). She was used by the Democrats who care not one bit about her, but only about stopping Kavanugh and Trump. After this is over they will discard her like yesterday's newspaper. I am fearful for every man when all it takes to ruin decades of good deeds is a single unproven allegation. Innocent until proven guilty has been thrown out the window. Makes me very sad... so now I'll go pray.

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    1. carol...Either something bad happened to her a long time ago or she is the consummate actress. Pictures of her at an anti-Trump protest have surfaced. Are they real or are they Photoshopped. I don't know. I will never know. The reason I will never know is that we are dealing with politicians whose only agenda is to regain power. And they will use every underhanded trick in the book to get it. Both Kavanaugh Ford are victims of greedy, power hungry scum who will do anything, say anything to get what they want. My heart bleeds for what we have become. I join you in prayer, for I truly believe that is all we have.

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  5. There are too many members of a club that not one person would ever want to join. I could not do anything about the five that were before me, but I could have prevented the two that were after. The only saving grace was he was brought to justice by three men fresh from time fighting in the jungles of Viet Nam, and never assaulted any woman again. I spent twenty years listening to others purge their souls as atonement for my silence.

    Red

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    1. Red...We all do what we think is best at the time. Who believes a 9 year old girl? Not many. Chances are excellent you would not have been believed, either. Your molester was brought to justice in a way that seems appropriate. Mine was caught when he molested his own daughter. We can not go back and change history. And as badly as I feel for those who went through much worse than I did, I refuse to define my life by one event. What I can do is move on, be the best person I can be and pray for the souls of both the victims and the abuser.

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  6. Don't know which one is telling the truth but two peoples lives are ruined forever.

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    1. cheryl...I doubt we will ever know, because both are being used and abused by power hungry greedy politicians and attorneys who consider them collateral damage in their fight to get what they want. The lives of Kavanaugh and Ford simply don't matter to them. If they had one ounce of human kindness in them, this whole thing would not have been dragged out onto the public stage, but would have been handled privately and discretely. Of course, that would not have produced the sound bites or grandstanding, would it.

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  7. children or even grown ups are so traumatized.
    they usually think they are the only one.
    never do they think there may be other victims.
    not the fault of the victim that others suffered likewise.
    Jesus is clear about the,fate of those who harm one of these little ones.
    we live in a fallen world. we do the best we can.
    so sorry about all the suffering.
    my dad was molested and i found out after his death.
    explained much of his behavior and attitudes.
    he was always so protective.
    and i am like him.
    attempted molestation by a dentist when i was about 15. i know that no one is trustworthy except God Himself.
    i watch my daughter like a hawk. she has never been to a public bathroom alone.
    you never know, and that one instance when guard is let down the irreversible and horrible can happen.

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    1. deborah...As usual, you have hit the nail squarely on the head. People, for the most part, have forgotten how to be kind to one another. We just keep on falling. I think I am glad that I will not live long enough to watch the world hit rock bottom. I fear for my Grands.

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  8. https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=3&v=uGxr1VQ2dPI

    Amazing observations by a Body Language Expert.

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    1. Anon...I saw that video as well as the one by the same body language expert of Kavanaugh and his wife being interviewed. Amazing difference between the two.

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  9. This whole subject the LEFT has dug up, just makes me sick. So now everyone will have to worry about an old high school girl friend complain 40 years later about be felt up on a date.

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    1. Rob...I'm thinking that you only have to worry if you want to be a conservative justice or are filthy rich. Little Mary Jane that you kissed behind the schoolhouse in seventh grade isn't going to care one way or another if there aren't several hundred thousand dollars to be had.

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  10. https://principia-scientific.org/prof-blasey-fords-study-into-false-memory-creation-mind-control/

    This article makes me wonder even more what is true. I had doubts before, now I have more.

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    1. Connie...Makes a person wonder, doesn't it. Since I wrote this post, other bits have come out, like the FBI report stating that none of her witnesses recall any of her statement. We may never know the truth as far as she is concerned, but I believe Judge Kavanaugh and pray he gets his seat on the Supreme Court. The man has more than earned it.

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