Phone Company

I had to call my phone company yesterday.  I hadn't received my bill in the mail for this month.  The girl who answered my call was very helpful and within a couple of minutes I had the problem straightened out.


But then came the obligatory selling of new and improved services to the customer, which is me!  The poor girl didn't know who she was dealing with.


She wanted me to switch from whatever television cable service I had, to the one her company was offering.  I told her that I didn't subscribe to a cable service.  She said that I must have a satellite service, to which I replied that no, I didn't have satellite, either.  Well, how did I watch TV without cable or satellite?  I told her that I have an inside antenna that picks up a couple of local stations and PBS.  Well, she said, don't you have favorite shows you want to watch every week?  I told her that I run my TV maybe a couple of hours each month and that I don't have favorite programs except maybe Antiques Roadshow, and I watch that on my computer.

So we moved on to the telephone services offered, which are many.  She carefully explained each one and told me about the huge savings that I would have by spending more money on more services.  When she was finished, I gently told her that I was completely happy with the few services I ordered originally, thank you very much.

Then we talked about cell phones.  She explained to me about all of the wonderful services that could be mine for my cell phone.  I thought she was going to cry when I told her as nicely as I could that I didn't have a cell phone.  But everyone has a cell phone, she told me.  Not me, I told her.  But what happens when your car breaks down on the freeway, she wanted to know.  I think I pushed her over the edge when I told her that I don't own a car, either.