Thursday, April 19, 2018

Adult Children Can be Sneaky

Another fun thing about aging has reared its ugly head.  I have increasingly become short of breath.  My nurses check my oxygen levels at each visit, and the numbers have been less than spectacular.  One of the nurses explained to me that I should be on oxygen and in order to do that, a visit to my doctor was required.  I declined, using the excuse that we are up to our collective bums in snow and I would wait for warmer weather to venture out.  I can not wear shoes due to swelling, and sock feet and snow drifts are not compatible.  She smiled, nodded and put in a call to my daughter, who is listed as next of kin on the paperwork.

Jill called her sister and younger brother, who made an appointment for me with my doctor.  The person they didn't call was me.  I guess they knew I would have some serious objections.  They did call, however, when they were enroute to my house to take me to said appointment.

I blew a gasket.  Said I wasn't going anywhere.  Said I didn't appreciate them going behind my back to make an appointment for me that I had no intention of keeping.  Said a bunch more stuff I probably shouldn't have said.

Here's the thing.  We of a certain age come to the realization that we have reached a time in life where we know we will not live forever.  And we don't like it.  Our bodies betray us.  Sometimes our minds betray us as well.  Some of us just give up and  meekly allow others to run our lives while we wait to die.  Others of us fight tooth and nail to maintain some sort of independence even when things become increasingly difficult.  And we resent the hell out of anyone trying to tell us what to do.

By the time my son and daughter reached my apartment, I had somewhat calmed down.  I yelled at them a little bit more, grabbed my coat and went with them to keep the dreaded appointment with the doctor.

Blood was drawn, tests were taken as was a chest X-ray.  Everything came out OK except for the oxygen levels.  The oxygen equipment will be delivered sometime today.

As angry as I was with my kids, I am still eternally grateful that they love me enough to risk Mom's wrath.  I acknowledge the fact that I can be a royal pain in the patoot.  And even with that being said, my kids go to great lengths to try to keep me above ground and in their lives.

God love them.  I know I sure do.

26 comments:

  1. So sorry you are having oxygen level issues, but glad you had family to help out too.

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    1. Kristina...It will be OK. Just take some getting used to, I think. I am grateful to have family to help. Makes life easier.

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  2. I had similar problems for a week or so after my "almost" heart attack a couple autumns ago but, thankfully, it straightened itself out. If you can swing it, you should try to get one of those little oxegyn makers that you wear like a purse.

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    1. I requested one of those oxygen makers you described, but what they brought me was a ton of machinery. I guess I will have to save to get what I want, as this setup with hoses running all over the place jut isn't going to work.

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  3. You are certainly blessed by those adult children of yours. They do look out for you.

    I understand that feeling that our bodies are betraying as to some extent. This growing old thing is not for the faint of heart. I tend to fight it as well.

    On a different topic - got the dog's lab work back. His liver is fine, at least for now. One measure is trending off the charts low but I'm choosing to not do any more tests. He's lively and loving life and knocking the stuffing out of his toys. So today is a good day.
    Cheers, SJ

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    1. SJ...As aggravated as I get sometimes when my kids do something 'for my own good,' I guess I would rather have it that way than have them not care enough to do anything.

      I really don't mind the age part itself. It is the limitations of aging that get my knickers in a twist. It seems like my independence is slowly going away, and that's where the fight is.

      So glad the dog is doing ok. I think sometimes they tell us when things are not right with them. I knew it was time when my little Yorkie took to spending her days in her kennel. Before that she was always underfoot or chasing a ball from one end of the apartment to the other or flipping her toys in the air. They know.

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    2. Fortunately, he's not my first dog. He's my 3rd as an 'adult' being fully responsible for his well being. I was blessed with having animals as a kid but only had some of the chores then. The hardest part, to me, is the ending with our pets. I'm thankful for a great vet to work with.
      I was just thinking about physical limitations and aging as well. For me, I see it in how I garden. I'm thankful I can play in the dirt but can no longer take on big projects. I just can't do the lifting or bending that was so easy not so long ago.
      Take good care with those hoses. Glad to read that you're seeing improvement after just one night. I wasn't too happy needing my CPAP machine but know it's helping.
      Take good care, SJ

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    3. SJ...I dearly miss having a dog, but I just can not care for them anymore. Long walks are out of the question. Should a pet become ill, I would have to ask someone to take them to the vet for me. It just is not fair to an animal if I can't give it the proper care and attention. So I read about your dog and enjoy just imagining the scene where he is snoring at your feet. Or getting pleasure from the pictures posted of my son's dog, Oreo, being a dog. Or the video of her racing back and forth across their yard, playing in the snow. It is enough. :)

      It sort of sneaks up on us, doesn't it. One day we have the strength to conquer the world and then, not so much. I am so glad you are still able to enjoy gardening. I liked to garden too, but it was mostly a way to feed my family rather than the joy of growing plants. I have been lucky in that my passions have been more in the fabric and yarn line, both of which I can still manage.

      After already tripping over the hoses once, I am mindful to watch out for them. I plan to keep saving until I have enough money to buy one of those units that are about the size of a shoulder handbag and have no hoses at all. They are awfully spendy, but as long as I know I will need the oxygen for the remainder of my life, I think it is a good investment. I hate the hoses and machinery.

      There is a positive side. You know those little devices that look sort of like the business end of a clothespin and they are placed on the end of a finger to check oxygen levels? The nurse always does that check. The number has been around the 77 mark. Today the number was 91 - right where it should be. Like your CPAP machine, I was not thrilled with needing oxygen. But seeing the results makes it worth the annoyance.

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  4. I would like more notice if I am going to be bulldozed! After all, you would be there, not escaping in your sock feet through the snow. I would be afraid I would trip over hoses. I know you probably said, but exactly why do your feet swell so?

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    1. Linda...I think they figured they would give me less time to yell at them. :)

      I have cellulitis. Symptoms include swelling of my feet and lower legs. The outer layer of skin in some spots will sluff off, leaving small wounds that need to be treated and bandaged, which is why I have home health care nurses. My lower legs and feet are wrapped in Ace bandages for two reasons. One is to keep the dressings covering the wounds in place. The other is to provide compression to aid in keeping the swelling from getting out of control. The up side is there is very little pain involved. I think that is likely more than you ever wanted to know about swollen feet and legs!! :)

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    2. I remember now...lol. I saw a pair of shoes that reminded me of your needs. It was like a sole and had large pieces that could be made whatever size of swollen feet. There was no trying to get swollen feet inside them, just put foot on the large sole and fold up the side and toe pieces and somehow attach those to each other, probably Velcro.

      Does the low OA have anything to do with your lack of exercise and not getting the deep breaths you might have gotten when you struggled before your housework help? Not that I would you suggest you get up and do your own housework!

      At least your children do things that truly do help instead of constricting your world further or hauling you off to a home.

      Hearing things that could happen and why helps to know if something is happening to me or a friend. Is there a chance you could make any sort of change that would free you from all the equipment.

      I think if you pointed out the trip hazard you perceive, there is more that could be done for your safety.

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    3. Linda...I have a pair of the shoes you described. If I tighten the velcro straps tight enough to stay on my feet, they rub when I walk in them. The rubbing, even through the Ace bandages, will end up producing another wound on my leg. It just isn't worth wearing them because of that.

      The low oxygen levels are partly my own fault. The addiction to cigarettes over the years didn't help, although my chest X-ray a couple of days shows my lungs are clear except for maybe a bit of fluid. The lack of exercise plays an important part. I have arthritis in my hips and lower back which causes a considerable amount of pain when I stand or walk for more than a few minutes. Even so, I walk back and forth in my apartment as much as possible.

      My kids are a huge help. I likely would not be able to live on my own without them.

      Medicare covers the oxygen equipment that was delivered to me. I have few bills, so I am able to save. My goal is to save enough money to buy one of those machines that are like a shoulder bag as opposed to the very large machine now in my bedroom with hoses all through my apartment.

      I probably wouldn't be discussing my medical problems except for the fact, like you said, someone else may find the information helpful. I don't feel sorry for myself so I do not expect pity from others. Even with the medical issues, I lead a life that makes me happy.

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  5. Sorry you are needing oxygen but I think you will feel better once you are on it...changes like that happen so gradually sometimes that we don't realize how bad we feel until we feel better. Adult children can be sneaky ... take comfort in the fact that they did it because they love you and want you around for as long as possible. Take care...hugs!

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    1. carol fun...I'm not happy about this turn of events, but I have to admit that since using the oxygen since it was delivered yesterday, I find myself less tired this morning than usual. I know I need it. I just don't like admitting to another one of those things that come with my 'Golden Years.'

      It is not so much that I was mad at them - it was more the frustration of watching another bit of my independence fly out the window. My kids take good care of me, in spite of having a mother who fusses at them when they do. :)

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  6. they would rather your wrath than that of God for neglecting their parent.
    remember when joseph sent to bring his father to egypt? he went against his will and it as written that when you get old you are carried against your will to places you don't want to be.
    of course it is all from love and a desire for your well-being.
    the lack of oxygen could make you more combative and less likely to see reason.

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    1. deborah...I don't think my kids need worry about the wrath of God, for they take good care of me. As far as the wrath of Mom goes, that doesn't seem to slow them down any. Some of them are even more stubborn than me. :)

      You are right about the aged being carried to places we do not want to be. It is not so much the fact that I am old. It is more the frustration of watching my abilities to carry on as I did when young evaporate, leaving me unable to do even some simple chores. So I do what I have to do, spend time in doctor's offices, welcome home health nurses and cleaning ladies. I don't like it much for I see a scrap of my independence going away with each change. Knowing that my kids are willing to go to the trouble of keeping me around a bit longer makes it worth the inconveniences.

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  7. Garden update - just in with the first itty bitty harvest of asparagus - 4 spears. Yum.
    SJ

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    1. Asparagus - a favorite. Mom used to make creamed asparagus on toast. Wonderful. Enjoy!!

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  8. I had the first of the asparagus for breakfast - steamed asparagus on toast with an egg on top. I'm using a tip from watching Alton Brown on the Cooking channel - wet a paper towel with water, place the asparagus on the towel in a single layer, salt. Then microwave for 1 minute. Perfect!
    Spent almost an hour in the garden this morning pulling the 'green' manure (fall rye). A week ago it was about 4 inches tall. Today over 18inches tall. Then I planted out some onion bulbs, peas, turnip and rainbow chard.
    I garden for a bunch of reasons. First, the food. I can't afford organic on my budget but I can grow it!! Then there's the exercise part - stretching, lifting and just generally getting off the couch. And then there's the social part - I find it's very hard to meet and connect with people now. So the garden helps in that respect.
    Best run. Cheers, SJ

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    1. SJ...That asparagus dish sounds so good. Duane may get me some asparagus at the Farmer's Market and I will try it then. I had not heard of that method for cooking it, but I like it.

      I have never grown turnips or chard, but I remember having to plant twice the amount of peas I needed. My kids would eat peas raw right in the garden. Same with tomatoes.

      Those are really good reasons to garden. I can't afford organic either, but over time we have found which vendors at the Market sell organic, and they sell at prices much lower than the grocery store. Another reason I love the Market.

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    2. In my cooking instructions, I forgot to write that you need to roll up the asparagus in the damp paper towel and tuck in the ends. The idea is to keep the asparagus in a single layer in the 'wrap' so as to keep each in contact with the damp paper towel.
      Or there's probably a video by Alton Brown somewhere....LOL.
      I planted twice the number of peas as I did last year!
      I use chard in place of spinach. Can't manage to grow spinach to save myself but chard grows like a weed for me. I'm not a big fan of turnips but they're a great early crop here and I boil them up with some carrots and then mash them.
      Another great spring day here when we were supposed to get rain. Off to join my group that grows veggies for the food bank. Cheers, SJ

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    3. SJ...I wrote down your instructions for asparagus. Thanks. I can't wait for the Farmer's Market - such a cold spring has put the crops back - so I ordered a bunch from the store. I know this asparagus won't be as good as what I can get at the Market, but I just have to try it. Will be delivered Thursday.

      I used to grow spinach, but I was the only one who liked it. After that I just grew beets and when I was hungry for greens, I just snipped off enough beet leaves for a meal. I think I got to liking beet greens better than any other.

      It is a lovely sun shiny day here as well. The temp is supposed to get up near 70 degrees this afternoon. I am looking forward to opening my windows!!

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  9. Good kids you've got Vicki. I am glad you are getting the oxygen, it should make quite a difference!

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    1. Jenn...I am truly blessed. Without my kids I probably would be sitting in a nursing home somewhere, wearing a drool bib. :)

      I hate that I have to have oxygen all the time, but I find it is making a difference. I was getting very short of breath and that is much better now. My kids were right to bundle me off to the doctor's office, but don't tell them that!!

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  10. What in the hell is wrong with you?? you crazy old bat. You and the hubby spent all that time, love, energy to raise those kids of yours. You should be glad they even give a shit about you. My mom gave up at 60. She was alone. My dad is still around, my brother, me, my wife, the 5 grand kids. I'm mad at her because she is not seeing how grand a job we did raising our kids. Not only that but my grand son too. So swallow your pride you old bitch and let them care about you.

    You know I say all of this as a friend, a son, and grandson

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    1. Don't hold back, Rob...tell me how you really feel. :)

      I know how much my kids care. It is just really hard for me to give up even a shred of my independence which seems to be all I have been doing lately. I promise not to yell at them the next time they do something like this.

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