Everyone has their morning routines. I make my bed, feed my animals and then sit down at my computer for a while with a cup of coffee. There are some online comic strips that I read. I like to start each day with a smile if possible. Makes for a happy state of mind. I check a couple of news websites to keep up with what is going on in the world. I check my email. Then I look at Facebook to see what my kids and grandkids are doing that day.
When I went to log onto Facebook this morning, a message came up that my account had been disabled. So, like everybody else who runs into a computer glitch, I tried logging in a couple more times. You know, the theory that if you repeat an action often enough, eventually it will work! Nope. No such luck.
So I clicked on their help button to see why I no longer had an account. Facebook, in their infinite wisdom, has decided that I am not real.
They say that I must provide my real first name and last name. Last time I checked, Vicki Matheny Miller was my name. Has been for 22 years. The Vicki and Matheny parts have been mine for 64 years. Nothing wrong there.
Then they say that I am prohibited from impersonating anyone or anything. I am perfectly happy with who and what I am. I have no desire to be anyone or anything else. So that's not a problem.
Facebook then tells me that I am prohibited from having more than one account. I have only one account. Now, I do have multiple blogs. Blogger doesn't seem to mind. But I can think of no good reason to have more than one Facebook account. No, that's not the problem.
Then I learn that it is "strictly prohibited" to have a profile representing celebrities, pets, ideas or inanimate objects. Maybe that's it. Do you suppose that while I was sleeping, Noodle or Jessie or Lily opened an account in my name? I mean, Jessie and Lily do like to hang out with me when I am on my computer. And goodness knows, Noodle can be a bit sneaky at times, and he does like to watch what I do from the back of my computer chair. But no, I don't think that's it.
Facebook's last reason for getting rid of me concerns spamming and harassing. I, to the best of my recollection, have never sent spam. I receive a lot of it. On any given day offers arrive in my email for all sorts of things that I couldn't possibly live without. This morning alone, I can get my very own credit cards, learn to be an ultrasound technician, sign up for tanning sessions, charter a boat, and make my skin clear and clean. I can also meet sexy seniors, cast a personal love spell and check the 68 messages now waiting for me on a singles dating website. I'm thinking that none of these things are going to happen. My children and their siblings harass each other on Facebook more than I ever thought about doing. I really don't think that I have harassed anyone lately, with the possible exception of my mailman who has lately given my mail to other residents of my building. Perhaps I was a bit premature on that. After all, Facebook says that I am not me, so how can my mailman know.
So.....if any of you know just who I am, please let me know. I would be interested to find out. Because, after all, Facebook says that I do not exist. And if you see it on Facebook, it must be true.
Vicki Matheny Miller (or whoever)
"The Death of Germany, and Europe"
1 hour ago