It has been very quiet here lately. The weather still hasn't decided if it wants to be spring or summer. One day the temps are in the 90's, the next, dropping down to the 40's at night and a couple of days later, back to the 90's. Anyone with arthritis is likely getting their butt kicked.
I have postponed a few things until Mother Nature settles. The ingredients for ham and bean soup and the applesauce to can will keep for a while longer in the freezer. I am just doing the necessary stuff for now. Clothes are washed, folded and put away. The dirty dishes are done.
Sometimes I sleep well at night - sometimes not so much. This past week has been not so much. You know how you sometimes just doze rather than sleep? Sleep brings dreams, but dozing brings random thoughts. Some of the thoughts are of bad memories and those I chase away. Over. Done. I have learned from my mistakes, I would hope. And even if I wanted to, I can not change the past. No point dwelling on it. Just makes me sad.
Instead I think of happy things. I think of each of my children in turn. I think of how I am truly blessed to have given birth four times. I remember what they were like as babies. And how they grew up into good people. I think about family picnics at the lake with Uncle Ronnie and Aunt Em. I think about Mother patiently teaching me how to sew and of Dad, trusting me to use his tools and to drive his cars. And I think about living in the north woods where in winter it is so quiet you can hear the snow fall and in summer, listening to the haunting song of the loons, calling to one another across the lakes.
And lately, I think about Heaven. Contrary to previous opinions held by the young, I know I shall not live forever. I am much closer to the going away date than I am to the coming into being date. I do not fear death. I look at it as just going home. But I wonder sometimes. The Bible talks of mansions and crowns and golden streets. And there are many who look forward to that.
Me...I have no use for mansions or crowns or golden streets. I believe I would be happy with a cabin on a lake just large enough to accommodate my kids and grands, when they arrive. And enough garden space to grow my food in a climate warm enough to grow watermelons and peanuts.
That is my idea of heaven. And I do believe God listens.