Friday, May 1, 2015

Once Upon a Time...

there was a relatively peaceful building with apartments above a bicycle shop.  This peace and quiet was shattered about 11:00 last evening by the sound of a smoke alarm.  There was no smoke smell and my alarms were quiet.  I headed out into the hallway to see if I could tell where the noise was coming from.  It was coming from the apartment directly across the hall, which is occupied by a single guy and his  dog.

I gave the guy a little bit of time to get the alarm shut off.  I know all about our smoke alarms that will sound for the most slim of reasons.  But he doesn't shut it off.  By this time 10 minutes have past.  I knocked on his door, thinking that maybe something was wrong with him.  No answer.  His dog started barking when I switched from knocking to pounding.  Still no answer.

Down the hall and around the corner I went, fashionably dressed in nightgown and robe, to see if I can rouse the caretaker couple.  No such luck. 

Back to my apartment, meeting another neighbor on the way who was just as fashionably dressed as I was and who was not pleased about being awakened.  If we had chickens, she would be going to bed when they did and getting up with them.  Unlike the night owl that I am.

I called the landlord, apologizing for the lateness of the hour and explained the situation.  I didn't want to call 911 if there is no reason.  He says he will call me back.

Took the landlord two calls to wake up the caretakers.  The guy in the apartment where the smoke alarm was still beeping like mad, never did answer.  The dog was not happy.  Neither was the sleepy chicken lady neighbor.  20 minutes had now passed since I first heard the alarm.

Turns out the guy across the hall had been doing his level best to see that the whiskey industry remained solvent.  When the caretakers finally went into his apartment, they found him passed out on his couch and his pizza that was in the oven, burned to a crisp.  The dog was glad to see the caretakers.  He is such a nice dog. 

They shut off the alarm, deposited the round piece of charcoal in the kitchen sink and ran water over it to stop it from smoking, shut off the oven and fed the dog. 

And we all lived happily ever after.  Except for the guy across the hall who is probably nursing a monumental hangover today.

The End.


  1. He must have been completely wasted to sleep through all that. It was good of you to try to see what was going on. I hope the chicken lady doesn't beat the guy up.

  2. Harry...I think you're right. These smoke alarms of ours aren't little sissy alarms. They are LOUD! I felt sorry for the dog. 20 minutes of that piercing sound must have really hurt his ears. As far as chicken lady goes, in her younger days I have no doubt that she could have whooped you, me half a dozen others, being an old farm wife used to heavy work. But now days, she can only tear a person apart with her opinion of their behavior. Glad she likes me!

  3. Gorges...Yes he does. I can only hope that it was nauseatingly painful and that it lasted all day and into the evening. Fool!!

  4. Seen it, had it happen once to us. Drunk passed out, food in frying pan
    MPLS FD was called. Drunk kicked out soon after. i love our mobile home and small city life.

  5. Rob...Aside from this incident, the guy really doesn't bother anybody. And his dog is just the nicest one I've seen in a long time. It is sad that his second home, according to people who know him (I really don't) is one of the bars in our neighborhood. My landlord wasn't overjoyed to get my phone call that late at night, but he thanked me for calling him and not the fire department. If my neighbor does something that stupid again, I have no doubt that he well be looking for another place to live.

  6. Mother, this is a sign that you should move to a new apartment!
    Love you,

  7. David...So why didn't you tell me this some years ago when the animal abusing drug dealer lived down the hall, followed by the hooker, followed by the crazy lady next door with the barking dogs at 3 am. At least this guy doesn't have customers banging on his door in the middle of the night wanting a fix, or doesn't have people sleeping in the hall waiting for the hooker to get home and his dog doesn't bark. Steve got rid of all of them. Expect if the guy does anything else that is stupid, he will be gone as well.

    I love you, too.